Saturday, August 31, 2013

"i'm back"


i sat in the dark room as the first rays of sunlight came in. my hands were cold, but i didn't move. i didn't want to make any noise, for fear of missing the first sound of it. i had waited up all night. i couldn't sleep. the rest of my family had been sleeping ever since they'd been sent off to bed. but not me. my cold coffee sat before me on the hardwood table. maria's flowers sat on the windsill. my knee wouldn't keep still, going up and down nervously. when, when, when?

that's when i heard it: the low rumble of the old ford truck. i jumped out of my chair and rushed out the door. my bare feet pounded along the dusty road through the dead yellow grass. my long brown hair flew out behind me. my breathing sounded loud in my ears. i didn't stop, running with all my might towards that sound that i had been waiting for... for what seemed like so long.

i stopped in the middle of the road. there it was. the old ford sputtered to a halt. dad's tall figure strode towards me, shadowed by the sun. i caught my breath. i hadn't see him in what felt like forever. i ran towards him.

"daddy." the words that i'd been yearning to say for so long came off my lips without me even thinking about it.

"i'm back." he hugged me tightly. "my little sarah. i'm back. i'm not leaving."

"i love you, daddy."

"i love you, too, sarah."

Friday, August 30, 2013

i took a walk down the quiet path


i took a walk
down the quiet path
all alone
in the dark
sun rising
through the mist
birds quiet
in the trees
cobbles hard
beneath my feet
winding deep
within the forest
i had heard
the tales
the stories
the legends
about this wood
but they didn't
scare me
i knew the beauties
i knew the secrets
i knew the wonders
of this wood
this place
where people
had made myths
legends
tales
stories
and so i walked forward
unafraid
for what felt like
the forest time
in my life

i took a walk
down the quiet path
needing to get away
from the noise
of life
the business
that seems to consume
everyone else
i can't stand
all of these people
all of this noise
i just need
to get away
to be alone
just have some time
by myself
so
i took a walk
down the quiet path
hoping to find
some quiet
some peace
some beauty
and some time
alone

i took a walk
down the quiet path
breathing in
the fresh scent
of the trees
the beautiful smell
of the flowers
and feeling
finally
free
from the noise
the business
of the city
i was finally
back home
this was the place
i felt
i belonged
i looked for
my friends
and they were
here
the magical
mystical
and sometimes
rather strange
people
who dwelt
in these woods
they had come back
to see me
again

i smiled
we were ready
for an adventure
the only adventure
that you can have
if you take a walk
down the quiet path
and throw off
the busy things
of life
and get away
from the noise
and stay quiet
enough
so that you can
hear them
calling

we were ready
are you?

Thursday, August 29, 2013

"i don't want this magical world to end"


i sit out
under the stars
the fairies fly
by my eyes
a trailing light
of magic dust
sparkles in
the pixies' hair
the Lion stands
atop the hill
smiling down at me
my friends sit
around me
watching the stars
basking in
the happiness
that we had found
and i heard
His voice
in my head
"it will end"
"soon you must"
"leave"
and i felt
this sadness
this weight
in my heart
and i stood
and walked
into the forest
and i felt
the words
come off
my lips
"i don't want this magical world to end"

a tear
it slid
down my cheek
"stop it"
i hissed
i didn't want
to think
of leaving here
of leaving
my friends
of leaving
my memories
i didn't want
to forget
anything
but what if i
did?
i didn't want
that to happen
i wanted to come back
i wanted to have
more adventures
here
i wanted to meet
more people
i wanted to go
to new places
i wanted more
amazing things
to happen
 i wanted to live
another lifetime
and i realized
in that dark forest
by myself
that
i didn't want this magical world to end
ever

i felt
a presence
behind me
a loft
comforting
familiar
presence
and i knew
that He
was there
"why?"
i whispered
"why
does all of this
have to end?"
He was silent
for a moment
both of us
quietly standing
the small fairies
their little lights
trailing
glowing lights
in the dark
forest
"because"
He finally started
"because
it is your time"
"because
you have learned
what you were meant to learn
and though
you find this sad
you will find it good
that you learned this
and instead
of being sad
think of all
the happy times
that you have had
here
and be joyful
instead of
sad"
"alright"
i nodded
"i understand"
"thank you"
i heard Him laugh
a low
soft
laugh
"I love you
I will always love you
I will always be there
for you
even when you're scared
when when you think
you're alone
I am there
and I
will always
help you"
and i smiled
and i turned
and He was there
the Lion
and i wrapped
my arms
around His neck
and we just stood there
and i knew--
i knew i would miss
this place
but i also knew
that i was about
to enter
another
"magical" world
and that i
had a new
adventure
before me

you have an adventure \\ live that adventure

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

thank you


thanks for all of your lovely comments, reactions, shares, etc. i love how everything's going on here. i love posting what i post. i love saying what i say. this is a part of me that usually stays hidden in me, because i'm scared to show it. i'm scared people will laugh. but you guys don't. that's why i love sharing it with you. i just want to say thank you. thank you for everything. thank you for being such amazing friends. thank you for not hating me. thank you. <3

i have updated two of my pages, my "about" and my "lovelies" page. i'd love to have you check them out.

until another day
anna

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

"can we start over?"


she would forever be haunted
by the eyes
the face
the screaming words
that came out
towards her
begging for help
"help"
"help me"
she had ignored them
looked the other way
and walked towards another dream
trying to forget
everything that had happened
everything she'd promised
everything they'd planned
they'd been found out
and she realized
if she'd helped him escape
she would have suffered
the same fate
as him
but then
she didn't know
she only thought of herself
she only thought of getting away
building a new dream
finding a new path
one away from him
where nobody would ever
ever ever ever
guess the truth

years later
she remembered the eyes
she remembered the words
that passed between them
she remembered her own lying words--
"do you know him?"
"no."
his face had fell
his heart had been hardened
she had ruined
years
of relationship
with just one
little
word
she hadn't really realized
what she lost
until she had
really lost it
when he had left
been taken away
and she had fled
hoping for a new life
a new dream
one that she soon found
she would never find

"excuse me"
the voice
at first
wasn't familiar
"yes?"
she turned
and suddenly
it was like she was back
to a girl
who had found
the person she wanted to marry
and suddenly
she felt faint
and grabbed for something
his face paled
his eyes grew large
and that one word
that one accusing word
that one word
that ripped her heart out
and sent it flying
"you"
her eyes flickered
her heart in her throat
"i'm...i'm sorry"
his eyes flashed
anger
he didn't care about her
he didn't care anymore
she had ruined him
she saw it in his eyes
and she felt
the one thing
she had pushed away
so many times
over the years

pain

"please, please, forgive me"
she begged
in a whisper
"i... i should never..."
"no, you shouldn't have"
they both stood there
feeling pain
anger
confusion
and then
suddenly
his face changed
his eyes calmed
and he said the words
that changed her life
forever
"i forgive you
can we start over?"

Sunday, August 25, 2013

never give up hope


i reached out for a brush, my arm flecked with paint--red, black, orange, yellow, purple, blue, green. i grasped it in the palm of my dirty hand, dipping it in one of the paint canisters and brushing it over the large, blank canvas. bold blue made a line, like a waterfall, down the middle. i washed the brush and looked around for another color. what next?

i heard the door slam, and i felt my heart fall. not yet. i wasn't ready. not yet. oh, please, not yet... why, why, why, why?! i had wished that this time would last forever, that they would just forget about me, and that i could just pretend that everything was going to be the same.

"sophia?"

i didn't turn around. i reached for another brush, another color--this time bright red--and smeared it on the canvas. it wasn't pretty. it seemed real.

"sophia?" her hand was on my shoulder.

"what." it came out as a hiss, showing my distain of their decision that i knew would come.

"you're... you're coming with me. your brother's going with your dad."

i stabbed my paintbrush into the water. "i'm not leaving jason."

mom sighed. "jason will be fine. your father will take care of him."

"i'm not leaving him," i repeated. "he's too young. he needs me. i'm the only mother he's got."

i knew that my words sent a blow like a sledgehammer, but i couldn't take them back, and i didn't want to.

"you don't have a choice." her voice was harsh. "the courts had decided. i have legal rights over you, and your father has legal rights over jason."

"well it's not fair!" i slammed my hand down on the table, tears coming to my eyes and falling down my cheeks so that my vision was blurry. i got up from the chair and stumbled towards the door of my workshop.

"sophia!" i heard mom's footsteps behind me.

i pushed the door opened and ran to the house. i could see jason--frail body, eyes large and scared--standing on the porch as dad loaded his things into the car.

"jason!" i ran towards him like i would die. my little brother's eyes widened even more when he saw me.

"sophia!" he rushed off the porch and into my arms. he didn't care that i was covered in paint. he usually cared. his sweatshirt was covered in it now. but i hugged him tighter.

"it's going to be ok," i whispered. "it's going to be ok."

"sophia!" mom grabbed at my shoulder.

"no!" shrieked jason, reaching for me.

our hands reached for each other, the fingers touching. then we were both yanked away by our opposite parents. i was held, against my will, sobbing, as my brother drove away, his face horrified in the back window of the car as they slowly drove out of sight.

"don't give up hope," i whispered. "never give up hope."

* * *

eight years later

"sophia."

i never thought i'd hear that voice again. never again. ever. i hadn't heard that voice in eight years. i hadn't heard that voice since it last shrieked that one word that i will forever remember--no. and now i was hearing it, here, in the hospital bed? was i dreaming? could this be true?

"sophia."

the voice. it was so familiar, yet... older. different. my eyes flickered. in front of me was a face that i didn't know, and yet seemed so... so... close.

"who... who are you?" my voice cracked as i asked the question.

"it's me." the boy, who looked about sixteen, took a deep breath. "it's jason."

memories, thoughts, feelings whirled at me so fast that my headache came back with a vengenance. i screamed, my eyes rolling back. i could see his little face, so scared, in the back window of dad's car, all those years ago. and now he was here, right before me, with the same terrified look on his face.

"sophia, please," he begged. "remember me."

i grabbed his hand. i never wanted to let go. i never wanted him to go away. "ja...jason," i whispered. "it's... i.... i can't believe..."

his face sagged in relief. "they told me what happened. how you got hit by that car."

i took a deep breath, and then nodded. "they don't know if i'll ever walk again."

he smiled wanly. "you will. i know you will."

"how... how did you get here?" i could stop myself from asking.

"we moved into the area," jason explained. "i convinced dad to take me to see you. mom... mom told us where you were." he looked at me hesitantly. "dad... dad said we could see each other every week. if you want to."

i nodded, tears in my eyes. "of course i do. i love you, little brother."

"i love you, too, sis," he whispered, tears streaming down his face.

and once again, i held him in my arms. and we were safe.

a little sad, fictional story for you \\ inspired by the picture

Friday, August 23, 2013

just feel your heart fall


your hopes are raised
feelings
thoughts
bubbling up inside of you
as you eagerly await it
it's coming closer
you're almost there
to this thing
that you have been
waiting for
all this time
you can't wait
you've been waiting
all this time
and now
it's finally
here
and you just
can't wait
as you hurry
to get to it
hurry to get
 everything else
done
so you can check it
and see what happened
and see if all your hopes
and dreams
and wishes
came true

and you do
and your face
reveals your excitement
bright and happy
eyes alight
mouth curved
as if too scared
to give a smile
but too happy
to keep it straight
and you're there
but suddenly
all your hopes
and dreams
and wishes
come crashing
to the ground
falling
in a heap
as you see
that everything you hoped
and dreamed
and wished
hadn't come true
it hadn't come out
like you had excepted
and you just felt
your heart fall
down
down
down
down into the dark abyss
of insecurity
fear
worry
frustration
you just can't
understand
but it's too late--
you just felt your heart fall

sometimes
our hopes
our dreams
our wishes
are too high
for what we wanted
for what we thought
and it pains us
as we walk down
a quiet dark place
tears falling down our cheeks
splashing on the ground
i curl up in a ball
hugging my knees
wondering
"where did i go wrong?"
"what did i ever do
to deserve this?"
it doesn't seem
fair
that others
get called
wonderful
beautiful
amazing
perfect
and that me
and everyone else
is left
in the dust
if they had done
the same thing i had just done
they would have been
called
wonderful
beautiful
amazing
perfect
but me?
i'm forgotten
ignored
people don't care
they don't care
that my heart
just fell

just feel your heart fall
we think it's the end of the
world
what we don't
know
is that there
is a life
out there
made just for us
there is a life
out there
that no one else
except us
can live
there are lives
that we will touch
that no one else
will never touch
there are people
out there
that no one else
except us
change help change
that are things
out there
that no one else
except us
can do
there is
and adventure
waiting
for all of us
each of our adventures
are different
we will each meet
different characters
and all of them
will react differently
to us
then to the next person
there is something
wonderful
beautiful
amazing
perfect
out there
and you know
what that is?
it's me
it's you
it's everyone
everyone
is special
and wonderful
and beautiful
and amazing
and, if they're following Christ,
they will
be made
perfect
pErFeCt
PeRfEcT
perfect

and no one else
can ever
ever
ever
ever
take that way from us
not unless
we let them
so why
are you letting them?
so why
am i letting them?
i feel my heart fall
but that doesn't mean
that Someone greater
Someone better
Someone more amazing
Someone more wonderful
Someone more beautiful
Someone more perfect
The Perfect
won't reach down
and pick me back
up again

Thursday, August 22, 2013

friends again


you were here
and we were friends
and then suddenly
like a vapor
a mist
you were gone
i reached
but i couldn't grasp
your hand
and you were
gone
and i didn't know
where to find you
i tried
but i failed
i lived a long time
almost forgot
about you
you were gone so long
 i made new friends
found out new things
my life had gone on
life always does
it never waits
time must forever
be spinning
it doesn't stop
for those we care about
but then
something happened
a note
you left for me
saying you were back
and you were back
you were
really
truly
and i almost
couldn't believe
i was so
happy
to finally hear from you
hear your words
see your work
we were finally
friends again

dedicated to a friend
glad you're back

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

imagination


we smiled a smile that flew us high
we grasped each other's hands
through the clouds
hands brushing the stars
eyes sparkling brighter then any of them
hair flying wildly
we knew that one day
we'd be grown up
probably too old for this
this "childhood magic"
this amazingly wonderful
magically sweet
thing called
imagination
that let us fly with the stars
that let us shine like the sun
that let us rule kingdoms
and cross seas
that let us travel with Hobbits
and fly on Pegasus'
save a princess
and the give the prince some tips
that let us slay dragons
and fend off pirates
fly a sky ship
across a moonlit sky
we lived a thousand lives
and lived a thousand dreams
that made us smile
made us laugh
made us draw our swords
made us cry
made us sigh
made us never wish to come back
made us wish that we
best friends
could be together forever
my brown hair
her blonde
my green eyes
her brown
our smiles uplifted
our eyes hopeful
doing the things
that we could only dream of

reality
it settles in
and tears about the dreams
that we had as a child
and makes us realize
that none of those things
are ever going to come true
and that we were just little kids
who didn't have anything else better to do
and it makes you think
"why did i ever want to do that?"
even as you think about flying
high above the clouds
even as you think about
saving the day
or slaying the dragon
or riding in a sky ship
or teaching Peter Pan how to fly

realization
it comes later
it tells you
"yes"
"they are never going to come true"
"but that doesn't meant that imagination is bad"
"it just means that you need to use
your imagination for good"
i will never
ever ever ever
regain my childhood innocence
my greatest imagination
but this realization
has made me realize
that even though we'll get stares
even though people might think we're strange
it's OK to don a cape
and run down the sidewalk
it's OK
to write stories
about crazy things that could never happen
it's OK
to be silly
to have fun
to be with your friend
and again relive your childhood dreams

Sunday, August 18, 2013

it's a million little things


it's that small smile. it's that small act of kindness. it's that comforting hug. it's that email that asks "hey, you ok?". it's that question about what's going on. it's that including spirit. it's that nod that lets you know that you're seen. it's that invite into the group. it's everything. sometimes it's the people that you least expect to see you that do see you, and do care for you, and do things that other people don't. sometimes the people that you think are the ones that you'll become closest to are the ones who you really didn't want to get to know at all. sometimes they're the ones who are actually the ones that'll just brush you off for whoever else who's "cool" who comes along. sometimes they're the ones who don't actually just care about you. sometimes the most unlikely people turn out to be the best, most loyal friends. don't exclude somebody just because you "don't think" they'll be the person that you'll be close to. don't just assume that people are the "perfect people" they pretend to be. sometimes you need to just let God guide you to the people who you need the most. <3

Saturday, August 17, 2013

fire


fire
light
in the
night
sparks
floating
on the wind
landing
flashing
making
fire
a bright light
in the dark
piercing the
darkness
fire
it burns
it scars
it leaves
a memory
sometimes good
sometimes bad
but it always
leaves
something

fire
start a
fire
in your life
take control
of the flames
make sure
that there is
Someone
watching over them
so that they don't
fly out
of control
make sure your fire
is watched
but kept burning softly
it will
become
something
amazing

fire
to make a fire
in someone else's
heart
it something
that few people
can do
something
special
unique
beautiful
something
that can change
lives
that can break
lives
that can make
things better
that can make
things worse
carefully
these flames
need to be tended
so that they
don't fly
out of control
but simply kindle
making something
warm
bright
beautiful
amazing
special
unique
and changing
lives
for the better

fire
don't awake
the fires
that should be
left alone
but awake
the fires
that should have been
kindled
long ago
that have been
ash
for far to long
that haven't even been
started
when they should have been
begun
years ago
help others
to calm the fires
that should have been left
as ash
that should have been left
alone
that should have been left
untouched
and instead
kindle the fire
of Godly love
the fire
of kindness
the fire
of patience
the fires
of God
that should have always
been alight

fire
it can be
destructive
but it can also
save lives
it can ruin
a life
but kindle
a warmth
a fire
must be handled
carefully
it isn't a game
it could be a life
make sure
that you kindle
the ones
that were supposed
to be
and put out
the ones that
were not

fire
bright tendrils
reaching for the sky
like fingers
of the heart
wishing
thinking
dreaming
reaching
for something
that you think
might be there
for you

fire
let God
take care
of your fire
but also
be mindful of it
yourself
kindle
the good things
the pure things
that God
wants you to grow in
and your fire
will be a warming fire
a life-giving fire
a beautiful fire

have a beautiful fire in your heart <3

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Blogger Blogs: Whole Backgrounds, Transparent Headers, and Links in Headers

The lovely and amazing Hannah from in Neverland, who I love and whose blog I love to pieces (I'm serious, she's awesome, if you don't follow her, go right ahead!!), and I are doing like a "code swap", sort of. She's going to be doing a post about doing a sticky sidebar (and, I believe, some other things) which I'll leave a link to when she gets around to it, and then I'm going to be covering several topics for her... and for you! :)

First off, we're going to cover... WHOLE BACKGROUNDS.

Like backgrounds covering the whole background instead of having a repeating picture?

Yeah.

First off, if you're just wanting a pattern, just make a seamless pattern and enter it as a background in your template editor. Yeah, easy peasy.

But otherwise? We're going to need to go code level. Oh yeah.

*WARNING WARNING*
This background only works with Ethereal Templates. Be warned.

We're going to have two sets of directions: 1. how to make the background and 2. how to apply it.

How to make your background:

I use Gimp, which is the easiest way. If you don't have GIMP installed, no sweat. Just find a picture that's around 1600x1100. I'll do a little mini tutorial for if you DO have GIMP. ;)

1. Click on the GIMP icon. (the silly little dog...)
2. Click on "file".
3. Click "new".
4. A window will pop up. Make the width "1600" and the height "1100".
5. Click the "advanced options" arrow.
6. Instead of "background color", switch it to "transparency".
7. Click "OK".
8. You'll have your transparent window pop up. This is where you're going to paste your background. Find a background, or make it, via anything you can, and bring it up on GIMP. Then copy it (on the "edit" tab) and paste it onto the transparent window.
9. Save your masterpiece.
10. Viola! Your background is done.

Now we get into the codes. Let's start the fun.

1. Log into your account and click on the blog you want to edit.
2. Click "new post".
3. Get the background that you made on GIMP or wherever into the post.
4. Right click, then click on "Open image in new window".
5. Grab the background's URL.
6. Get out of the post until you're on your blog's mini dashboard.
7. Go to "template".
8. Click "edit HTML". (or whatever... yeah)
9. See this? --> <b:skin>...<b:skin/>  Click the little arrow by it. If it's already opened, that's good. (if it is, it will instead say "<b:skin><![CDATA[/*")
10. Scroll down to this (it should be by the top):

background: $(body.background);

11. We're going to be using this code:


url(BACKGROUND URL HERE) no-repeat center fixed #FFFFFF


12. Replace "BACKGROUND URL HERE" with the URL of your background. An example of a completed code would be: url(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cvNE15sgWtQ/UaPGatelAhI/AAAAAAAAMtQ/VxUL60QXODQ/s1600/roses.jpg) no-repeat center fixed #FFFFFF
13. Place the completed code (as said above) in the code as follows:

background: url(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cvNE15sgWtQ/UaPGatelAhI/AAAAAAAAMtQ/VxUL60QXODQ/s1600/roses.jpg) no-repeat center fixed #FFFFFF;

So you delete the "$(body.background)" and instead put the code that we made. See? Really simple. :)
13. Click the "preview template" tab to make sure that it worked. If it didn't contact me! :)
14. Viola! You're finished. :)

Now, we're going to move on to... TRANSPARENT HEADERS.

This one's kinda fun. :)

The way I get transparent is from GIMP. They let you make a transparent background for a header or whatever. So you just make it on GIMP. Yeah. Really simple. I might warn that there's some weird thing going on between GIMP and blogger that sometimes makes the transparents act up or make white backgrounds appear to be a light gray instead of white. I don't know what this is. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't, so you just have to work with it. I've found that sometimes it'll work if I add something onto the transparent header via PicMonkey. I have no idea why. Or if I make a transparent background with nothing on it, add a few things like maybe pictures on PicMonkey, and then add text again via GIMP. It's just a confusing mess that, as designers, we have to sort through.

Moving on...

LINKS IN HEADERS.

Oh my word, love this one, I actually couldn't believe I'd figured it out! :) I actually used a code that mostly everybody else uses for something else and applied it to this.

First off, most of you know the code for getting rid of margins, say, between the post title and date header:


h3.post-title { 
margin-top: -25px !important; 
}


I simply applied this simple CSS code to an HTML gadget with your words written in it. So like this:

#HTML3 {
margin-top: -100px !important;
margin-bottom: 100px !important;
}

The reason I added margin on the bottom is that then the rest of the blog won't come up as high as the words will. If I'm wanting to put the words into the header, I'm going to want to place the HTML gadget right underneath the header, so that I only have to do up and down and some minor left and right margin tweaking.

Most of the work comes from knowing what number your HTML gadget is. All HTML/Javascript gadgets on blogger have numbers. Above I used the example of "HTML3". Some people have a lot, so this gadget of yours might be like HTML18 for all we know. How do we find out what number it is to apply it? That's really easy. We name it. Name your HTML gadget, go into the HTML, then use the blogger search that our lovely new HTML has installed, and randomly click on one of the HTML gadgets that they have there. All of them have a "name ' '" thing, but not all of them have names. If yours did, it would be like "name 'wow'". So that's how you would know what number that was.

This all sounds a little confusing, but once you get the hang of it, it won't be. If you have any questions about anything I'm saying, I'll try and help to make it more simple for you. It doesn't mean you're bad, it just means that you don't understand yet.

So, we've got our HTML gadget underneath the header, we know what number it is (let's say it's HTML1 for comfort), so how do we get it up into the header? I'll do it really easy for you.

1. Go to template.
2. Click customize.
3. Go to CSS.
4. Paste this code:

HTML1 {
margin-top: -100px !important;
margin-bottom: 100px !important;
}

5. Adjust the code as necessary. If it's not high enough, then change the numbers (100) around until the words are exactly where you want them to be.
6. Save template.
7. Viola! :)

Again, if you have any questions, just ask! :)

Until another day, until another post,
Anna

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

alone


alone
am i
alone?
does anyone else
feel this pain?
does anyone else
understand?
or am i
alone?
like i
thought?
i walk
feeling
empty
feeling
scared
feeling
alone
is there
anyone else?
or am i truly
truly
truly
alone?

alone
i yell
i scream
i cry
i collapse
i hide
i wonder
wonder if
i'm alone
or if
there are others
who have felt
this pain
this despair
this fear
this anguish
am i
alone?

alone
i wander
feeling lost
wondering if
somewhere else
there is a person
who feels
as i do
as i have
as i will
and wonder
if i am truly
truly
truly
alone
or if
i have just not found
another person
here
who feels
like i do
who understands
what i feel
what creeps up on me
and scares me
what makes me feel
so
so
so
alone

alone
"you don't
have to be
alone"
says a voice
but where
does it come from?
i don't know
i am alone
there is no one here
or is there?
i don't know
i am alone
i am scared
i am by myself
i wander
where are others?
i don't know
i'm alone
"I am here"
says a voice
strong
caring
loving
and i just want
to fall into
Their embrace
and i do
and i find
that i am no longer alone
there is Someone
who knows what i feel
who watches me
cries with me
cares for me
and once
died for me
They will always
always
always
be with me
so that now?
i know

i am never alone

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

trees






PHOTOS BY ME

trees
stand
tall
proud
they have
a lesson
to teach us
what do the say?
whether you are
tall
or
short
you should
stand tall
reach
don't be afraid
to show your
true self
though it might need
trimming
or changing
it won't begin
unless
you start it
by showing
who you really
are
stand tall
reach down deeply
with your roots
enjoy
your natural beauty
don't be envious
of others
of flowers
or stars
the sky
the clouds
you have
your own beauty
though you might tower
though you might cower
you are beautiful
so stand tall
reach
show your
true self

trees
everyone
in a way
is a tree
though sometimes
we droop
under the weight
of the world
all we need
is a little Sun
a little of that Person's love
that One above
and we'll flourish
reaching towards the sky
proudly
beautifully
amazingly
perfectly
so stand tall
show your true self
it might need
to change
but don't be afraid
there's Someone
here to help
stand tall
you are beautiful
people might say
things that hurt
but they aren't true
they don't matter
you are
beautiful
you are
amazing
perfect
just the way
you are

trees
they have
such an amazing
story to tell all of us
their rings
have stories
what would they say
if they could speak?
i think
they would have tales
of good things
bad things
things that happened
so many years ago
and how, maybe
they thought
quietly
to themselves
"if only
they stood tall
and they trusted
in the One above"
so stand tall
and trust
you are beautiful
don't ever doubt
there is Someone
watching out
for you
you are
beautiful
amazing
perfect
don't listen
to lies
listen to
the truth
you are
beautiful

SIMPLE BEAUTY \ TREES

Monday, August 12, 2013

black and white


black
white
dark
light
opposite
different
perfect
beautiful
unique
stark
contrast
light
dark
dark
light
black
white

one is black
one is white
together
they make
something
totally different
unique
beautiful
special
you are black
i am white
we are contrast
but together
we make
something
different
beautiful
unique

black
white
dark
light
contrast
opposite
different
unique
something special
i'm black
God's white
stark difference
we can change
from black
to white
our sins
cleared
turned to
snow
we are black
He is white

black
white
dark
light
different
things
they mean
so many things
what
do they mean
to you?
stark difference
contrast
so special
beautiful
opposite
unique
amazing
black
white
dark
light

black and white
what a sight <3

SIMPLE BEAUTY \ BLACK AND WHITE

Sunday, August 11, 2013

leaves


leaves
lines
crossing
intersecting
different stories
all of them
holding them
whispering them
on the treetops
quietly
to those
will are willing
to sit still
and simply
listen

leaves
fly
off the trees
through the air
on the wind
across the waters
flying
towards
someone
on the opposite
shore
quietly
to those
who are willing
to sit still
and simply
listen

leaves
there is a simple beauty
that is often missed
especially
by me
there is something about them
free
magical
amazing
something that God
wanted for us to see
if only
we had the
eyes
the quiet
the willingness
to just
stop
and listen
and watch
and see
what they had to tell us

what do they tell us?
hold
wait
be silent
listen to others
fly free
be yourself
listen to others
listen to God
leaves
they have a lesson
one for all
if only we
are willing to
listen

SIMPLE BEAUTY \ LEAVES

Saturday, August 10, 2013

What I Want to Do


i've heard it.

time and time again.

"post what you want to"

what if they don't want to hear it?

what if the "real you" is rejected?

i guess it just doesn't matter then.

because here it comes.

the real me.

what i want to post.

inspirational.
poems that spill out.
updates on what's happening.
probably not contests at the moment.
whatever i want.

it sounds so freeing.

but can it be true?

Friday, August 9, 2013

My Castle in the Sand

Dear Readers,

Yesterday I got to go to a beach. It was so much fun. We played catch with a football in the water, monkey in the middle, then catch again. Then we got out of the water and made the biggest sandcastle/wall/moat thing EVER. It was awesome.

(no joke. It was so awesome that this lady and guy were taking pictures by it. And taking pictures of it. Let's just say my friend wouldn't have been very happy if they'd gone and put it on facebook and said that THEY'D made it...)

It was fun making the castle. I first made this moat (at the direction of my friend--he's a serious builder on some things...), which took a little bit. (yeah, and it kept on taking the sand off the side and putting it in the middle... oh well... =P) Afterwards, I went and helped to finish the castle. It was amazing. My friend working on that, she's a real perfectionist. I'm more of a "it's good enough let's go" person, but she made me slow down and help her. (mostly because she promised she'd bury in the sand afterwards--what??--even though she didn't end up doing it...)

By the time we'd finished doing it, I couldn't help but think that the castle, the moat, and the huge walls looked amazing, despite the fact that we didn't even have a bucket or shovel between all of us. We just had the wet sand, our hands, and some wood for evening out some parapets on the castle. (I'm telling you, that thing was advanced!!)

It was amazing. :)

Have you ever made a sand castle? Do you like making sand castles? What's your favorite part about the beach? Are you a perfectionist, or more like me, more laid-back?

Talk to you all later. :)

Love,
Anna

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Probably Not the Best Choice... But Still

Dear Readers,

Remember how I said I had a cold yesterday? (wait, that was... a few days ago... anyway, anybody remember Road to Avonlea??) Yeah, well... I still had it yesterday. I wasn't feeling that great yesterday morning. Still, I decided to go to a youth group. And... I kind of forgot I had a cold. And, besides, I was feeling a lot better.

That doesn't mean I should've run like crazy for like two hours or more playing games though, right?

Oh.

Oops. =P

Well, I definitely wasn't on the top of my game (not to mention that it is extremely hard at night to catch a black frisbee.... like where on earth is the stupid thing?!?!) but I tried. (nope, I didn't elbow anybody. Or even accidently hug tackle my close friend. I just got into a slight friendly fake tug of war with the frisbee which I won. :D)


I just got a little bit, probably, too tired. Let's just say that towards the end of the evening, I wasn't sure, for a little bit, if I was going to puke up my guts or pass out for lack of oxygen. (that reminds me... I should tell you guys my "almost pass out" story. =P) Which I attribute to my cold, because usually I don't get that bad. (just... like Gimli panting. ;D)

Before that we played kickball. I actually did pretty good, considering it doesn't matter how good, fast, or whatever you are, you can still get out just because somebody kicks the ball right to the person who's guarding the base that you need to get you. (I assure you, I tried to avoid doing this to other people. Other people doing that for me? Not so much. I only made it back to home base twice after like an hour and probably over an hour. =P) It made me feel a little better, though, that one of my really good friends who's a jock at like everything athletic kept on getting out just because of where the ball is. (and she's like a speedy.... so yeah.... I felt better ;D)

So... if you had to pick, would you rather play kickball or ultimate frisbee?

Me?

Oh, OK. I guess I'll answer for you. :)

I would rather play...

NEITHER!

Give me the football and let's play ultimate football!! Whoohoo!!

Either that or volleyball. haha =D

Talk to ya'll later!! :)

Love,
Anna

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

a hero//my real name


i'm trying
am i failing?
i reach forward
for the lost
try to be a hero
am i failing?
i don't know
i want to be
what i'm supposed to be
a hero
someone who saves others
who goes the extra mile
and does what's asks
does what's right
even when nobody else won't
a hero
running forward
grabbing the torch
sacrificing yourself
saving others
helping the lost
a hero
it doesn't matter what happens to you
you don't care
you're selfless
only the others matter
help them
save them
a hero
that's what i'm trying to be
but am i?
am i working hard enough?
i can't do it on my own
there's Another out there
Someone who watches over me
only He can help me
become what i'm supposed to be
a hero

Hello.

You have known me for about a year as a person named Storyteller.

A person shrouded in mystery.

A person without a face.

A person without a name.

And now, you will know that name.

My name is Anna.

I'm striving to be a hero.

Are you a hero?

Thanks to each and every one of you. You are amazing. <3

God bless.
Love,
Anna

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Change//Random


Dear Readers,

cold+blogging+Road to Avonlea+reading=lovely day, despite the cold that includes the stuffy nose and tickle in the back of the throat

Sometimes change is scary, isn't it? Sometimes it's scary to change. But we shouldn't be scared, if that's the path that God's leading us on.

enjoying pinterest//praying for my cold to go away//can't wait to reveal my name//hopefully longer posts coming soon

Love,
Me

Monday, August 5, 2013

You're Amazing


Dear Readers,

Ah, why do I feel this way? Sometimes discontentment gets hold of me. But why should it? I have made amazing friends on blogger. You are amazing. Just knowing that you're there... it's amazing. I don't know if we're the closest or not, but I feel like I know each and every one of you, like I could recognize you walking down the street. You're my friends. I love all of you.

I hope sometime, here on earth, though I would love just as much to meet you in Heaven, at least, it would be very awesome if, maybe, some time in the very far future, we could all meet together, talk about God under the stars, have a campfire and cook smores, write stories together in old notebooks with pens about to run out of ink. To have LOTR marathons and spill popcorn on the carpet. Run a mile and die together trying. You know. Just be... friends.

I don't want our friendships to ever end. I love you guys so much. <3

Love,
Me

Sunday, August 4, 2013

what i forgot//and more


what i forgot:
thoughts journal//list of post ideas//nothing else, thank goodness

leaving for something...
it makes me scared i'm going to forget something
and usually i do
things that i thought i wouldn't need
or i hadn't even thought of
why does this stuff have to happen to me?
i don't know
it just does
does that happen to you?

looking forward to revealing my name//new blog design//so much more

farewell
thanks for reading <3

Friday, August 2, 2013

Auditioning for a Movie

Dear Readers,

I don't know if I ever told you this, but once I got the chance to go and audition for being an extra in a movie. I ended up not doing it, though, because we found out, as we were auditioning, that the movie actually wasn't that great.

BUT.

The experience of getting to go was really awesome! Even though we had to wait for FOREVER. lol In line to get to find out everything, of course. Since were just extras, we didn't have to read a script. If we'd wanted a small speaking part, we would've had to go and read for it, but since we didn't like the movie, we obviously didn't.

But, anyway, being an extra in a movie just sounds awesome, so I thought that I'd go and walk you through what happened to me that day. Sound good? :)

I've been in lots of plays--like, LOTS--so we made a small resume having them on it, just in case. (you never know) I was freaked out about what I should wear (because I'm totally not a fashion person) but I finally picked out something that was both nice and comfortable, so that I wouldn't always be like itching myself in some uncomfortable clothes the whole time.

They were having the auditions at a local restaurant. The reason that we even had the chance to audition is that the people making the movie wanted to have locals actually play the extras. So we got there, and the whole parking lot was FULL of cars. We got into the already long line and waited for what seemed like forever. We ended up talking to this lady and found out that she'd already been an extra in a movie that had been filmed locally. (you have must undoubtedly seen this movie, but I won't mention what it is for the sake of my location)

We finally got inside and all sat at this table, where we sat for about an hour, just talking with ourselves and the other extras we were paired with. Then we were called upstairs, where we filled out an information form. We waited in there for less then downstairs, and then we were called into the other room. They had two guys with dry erase boards and dry erase markers. They asked you your name, wrote it down (I had to correct the guy--he got my last name wrong =P) and put a number beneath it. Then you walked over to one of the guys with a camera and they took your picture.

Then we all sat down at these tables with a whole bunch of other people who wanted to be extras. They told us about the movie, and we got introduced to the director. Then we were released.

Overall, it was a fun experience. :)

Have you ever been or had the opportunity to be an extra in a movie?

~Storyteller

Thursday, August 1, 2013

I'm Slowly Starting to see the Picture Here

Dear Readers,

About running, I mean. It seems like everybody's always like, "I'm going running," or, "I love running," or something ridiculous like that. (because who could actually like running?? OK, never mind, I can think of a few people...) And since I've torn my ACL, I've been introduced into this running world. (*pant pant pant*) And, as I'm not really the "runner type", I've never understood how somebody could actually like this pain.

That's when I figured out they liked it after the pain ended.

Well, gee, thanks.

And... that's when I figured out, if you're in shape, running is actually kind of fun, and you don't dread it as much. (yes, I did dread running. Yes, I kind of do dread running. Sorry, I just pretty much hate running. I would way rather be on here talking to you guys. :) Mostly because you guys are so nice and awesome.  And... way more interesting then running.)

But it's weird. I never thought I'd ever see running as maybe something I'd enjoy once I got a little more fit. (I was "a little more fit", but then I got out of that by doing more biking then running. Great job, me. Not really. So now I'm playing catch up. Which... is kind of annoying, because I expect myself to be able to do better, and I can't, so I'm having to slow myself down and not go as far. Yes, I'm still doing the "run rest" thing, which kind of stinks, but oh well. =P)

(Oh yeah, by the way, guess how long it took to find a picture on my boards on pinterest of like somebody running? [at least sort of runningishlooking] And they're not even really running!!! #iamasadcreature #needingarunningboard #ormaybenot)

So, yeah, I guess I'm getting better at that. (though, actually, today's not my running day. Tomorrow is. And then the day after that I have off free, because Saturdays and Sundays are free. YES YES YES. I used to live for my free days. JK haha =D) At least, a little better. It's easier to push yourself when you know you can do better, you know what I mean? Before it was just like, "pantpant I'm dying over here!!! pantpant"

Yeah.

Sad.

Really sad.

Anyway, so that's kind of your "weekly or so" therapy update. (update review: I'M DOING BETTER!!! YAY!!! AND I'M NOT HATING IT AS MUCH!! IS THAT A GOOD OR A BAD THING?!?! PERHAPS I AM GOING CRAZY!!! AND PERHAPS I SHOULD TURN OFF THE CAPS NOW BEFORE I GO TOTALLY BERSERKO ON YOU!!!)

Farewell, awesome people. :)

~Storyteller

P.S. Can't wait for 150 friends on Storyteller of Weston County!! :) Then I reveal my name. And I can use it on my blog posts. YES. *score*

P.P.S. Wow. I didn't know I had a "running" label. Whoopteedo. haha =D