no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted

I push open the door of the library. I walk forward for several paces and then take a right down the stairwell to the kid's section. I don't care that I'm considered "too old" for those kind of books. I love those kind of books. My hand reaches out and grips the railing, because my knee's unstable. The brace helps, but it can't do everything. I pause by the tiles underneath the window on the small landing, seeing the names and the hand paint spread on them. Then I finish the last staircase.

Something stops me. It's the little banner that hangs on the short hallway's wall. I've seen it millions of times, coming down here for new good books. I used to not understand the words. I used to wonder what they meant. After awhile, I kind of just started to forget it was even there. But, sometimes, I still read the words. And now I'm old enough to know what they mean.

"No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted." ~Aesop

That banner's always been there in my library. And those words come back to me. "No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted." How many times do I be kind to others, in just even small things? Think about for a moment. How have you? What kindnesses have you done? What kindness can you do?

It's never wasted. Even one small kindness is always seen, even if it seems like it isn't. Even though others don't see them, there is somebody who does. God. He always sees. And you know what? The other person's going to see, too. And even if they don't, it doesn't matter. It wasn't wasted. Those people will just be all the better because you did what you did.

How can you show kindness?

How can I show kindness?

It's never wasted.

a kindness is never wasted

even if it seems to be

even if you give some

to your worst enemy

even they will know

that deep inside your heart

with the Lord, your Savior

you are never apart

they will know you're different

that it doesn't matter to you

that you're going to show kindness to them

whatever they happen to do

I have fears... lots of fears

fear

icy cold down your neck

reaching to for you

taunting you

a cold touch

something behind you

but nothing really there

fear

strong, powerful

unbreakable, it seems

something lying in the dark

hidden

but there

fear

I have fears. Lots of them. My fears range from things I'm afraid of doing to things that just plain scare me. Sad to say, horses cause fear in me. Some are sweet and I like them, but others... I feel like that chill down my back. I glance over my shoulder at them, and it's like they're just... watching me. Waiting for me to get in their way, so they can kick me. Bite me. Hurt me. Throw me off.

I have fears that I won't ever be able to play volleyball again, since I tore my ACL. I think of things, see things that others do, and wonder, Will I ever be able to do that again? Will I ever be able to make that jump? Will I ever be able to hit that ball? Will I ever be able to run that mile? Will I have be able to anything I want to, ever again?

I have fears of bad dreams. I see things, I watch things, I read that, things happen, and I find myself fearful that my sleep's going to be ruined, just because I did that.

I have fears when I'm walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I'm not even joking. Like it always seems like there's something following me or something, and I just want to jump into my bed and hide under the covers. (yeah, because the covers is a magic shield... =P)

There's just that chill you get. Just that feel like something's behind you. There's that fear. Horrible, horrible fear.

Why do we let fear control us? Why do we let it get a hold? I don't even know. It just creeps into our spirits like a seeping darkness. I hate fear. I hate it with a passion.

But with God, we don't have to fear.

"Cast your burdens upon the Lord and he will sustain you; he will not let the righteous fall." Whenever I'm afraid, I repeat this verse over and over to myself. Because if I tell God about my fear, He's going to help me through it. To sustain me through it. And I don't have to worry.

rise

rise

we have beaten the fear

the fear is driven away

the darkness is gone

light sprays upon us

a bright gold

beautiful gold

sunlight is everywhere

light is everywhere

God is everywhere

rise

you are free

do it today, just do it today

don't put things off.

hug your family now.

play with your pets.

smile at the new kid.

make new friends.

try new things.

be free.

"You may delay, but time will not."

"Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone."

do the things you wanted to do.

go and finish it.

go and do it.

go and try it.

don't be afraid.

you don't have forever.

just try it.

just do it.

"A year from now you may wish you had started today."

"My advice is to never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time."

Hey, Sarah (.V), is this OK? :)

Click to enlarge to normal size. Or just do the right click; image in new window. :)

I'm like really bad at keeping diaries and journals...

I'm serious. I'll start one, but my fingers just don't move fast enough with the pen to write down everything that I want to write, so I just stop. Have you ever had that problem? I love writing down my thoughts and feelings, which is part of why I blog. But I also found another way to write down what's happening in my life.

It's called a Computer Journal.

Yes.

It's a journal on my computer.

I'm pretty fast at typing (thank goodness I had to take one of those computer typing classes as a kid!!), so I can write my thoughts down almost as they're just coming to me. If you're having the same problem I am, maybe you could do that, too!! :) Love to hear if you did it. :)

The only problem that I can think of is that if my computer crashes I would lose it all. (though it's on a flashdrive, so really I wouldn't... =P) Well, I at least wouldn't be able to write on it on that computer and would have to wait to write more until I could get it on a new computer. :) (like this one. Because I write on one computer and then use the internet on the other, so, yeah.... ;D)

Do you do journaling? If so, why? What do you like about journaling? If you don't already have a journal/diary, I think it's a really good idea. You can record memories that you can read later, record checkpoints (like followers, designing things you've discovered, etc.), and just write down your thoughts that sometimes are more confusing in your brain and then make sense when you write them down.

TTYL

P.S. Should I have a way to end my posts? On Dragonmaster, I just leave them. On Storyteller of Weston County, it goes like "Later gator. Over and out." But what about here? Got any ideas, my lovely followers? Thanks:)

Sometimes I just feel like a cat whisperer...

Dear Readers,

Thanks for all of your recent interactions with me. :) I love talking with you guys. :)

Most of you know about my black cat with the green eyes that looks like Toothless. (if you didn't know, now you do...) Usually I'm not very good with animals, but that's different with me and cats. I love cats. I feel like I understand them a more then dogs. They're so soft and small, too. :) I don't know... it's just whenever I'm around a cat, I feel like I'm a cat whisperer or something haha =D

Anyway, so this morning I went out to where my cat stays and I found this long piece of hay on the ground. So, during my normal morning visit, I played with her. (and found out that my straw wielding hand is faster then her pounce...) It was actually pretty funny, watching her just think that the piece of straw was alive.

Do you have pets? How many? Do you feel like you're an animal person? What's your favorite animal? Have you ever just felt like an animal whisperer?

Until later...

Love,
Willow

How can you control explosive, yell-fest anger?

Their words sting.

You wait, your lip trembling, hoping that they'll take them back.

They don't.

They turn and fold their arms.

They're angry.

You run out of the room, trying to find somewhere safe.

And then you hide.

A tear falls down your cheek.

Everybody gets into arguments. Including me. Especially me. Everybody says things they regret. We all have confusing emotions that seem to plague us and sway us from what we want to do and say and from what we do do and say. I feel the waging emotions whenever I start to feel angry.

It rises up in my chest.

It's all knotted.

I just want it out!

I tell myself I shouldn't.

But I can't handle it anymore.

I yell.

There.

It's out.

It's hard, isn't it? You just have that feeling your stomach. I always feel like my heart's in a knot. I just want it out! It's like when I yell, then it comes out. Then it disappears. But you know what else shows up?

She looks at me.

Her face's stony.

But I know that she's hiding her true feelings.

She walks away.

I hear a quiet sob.

Hurt. Because we just hurt someone.

If you're like me, you have a hard time controlling your anger. You just feel that injustice against you, and wham! It's a yell fest. I know, it's awful, right? I've been getting better. (The only person to thank is God...) But still. There's just those times that I just want to yell. And then... I do.

How can we control our anger? How can we stop from hurting people? It's hard. We definitely can't do it on our own. (Believe me. I've tried it. It just seems to make you more angry, if you ask me...) There's only one person who can help you.

Yep.

God.

I know I say that, but what do I mean by it? Anybody can say "God", but not really mean anything by it. And how do you actually change it? From one girl to another, all I can is, you'll be doing lots of praying. And watching yourself. If you feel yourself starting to get angry, try to think why you're angry. If the other person is just being ridiculous are they're really in the wrong (and you just normally end up looking like the bad guy because you yell), then all you have to do is...

1. If you're a kid, then approach your parent(s). They can help you. (My parents are strong Christians, so they've helped out a lot.)

2. If you're an adult, you might have to just walk away. Yep. Sorry. No revenge thing here. No getting even. Just walk away. Or you can get yourself composed, and then deal with it rationally.

3. If you're a kid/teenager/whatever and you're at school or some other place where you really can't get help (from, say, your parents...), then you can still do 2), too. If you think you can handle your anger without walking away, good for you. But if you feel yourself about ready to blow, it might be about time for a time out away from that person until you can compose yourself.

I pray to God a lot about my anger, and I know that's what's helped the most. He's made me see when I'm about to blow, and how I can avoid it.

I don't know if you knew, but I'm writing a story about anger right now. It's called Transference and it's about a girl named Anna who has extreme anger problems--in fact, they're... what shall we call it?... even more unusual a normal person's problems. More... unique. I'm not talking about always being mad. (Which... she is.) More like there's a kind of Unusualy twist to it.

I'm hoping to finish that story soon. As soon as I do, I'll post it on here. :)

God bless.