The Cooking Disaster

Dear Readers,

Hi, this is Jessie.

Today was the first day of my summer cooking class.

And let's just say it didn't go so hot.

So, when we got there, Noah and I found ourselves sitting at this table in the middle school's cooking team's kitchen by the science labs. Ladasha, Maya, Summer, and Maurice all arrived. Maya was grumpily listening to Summer and Ladasha argue over shoe brands while Maurice sat nearby, looking bored. Each girl was used to being the most popular, but they'd had to settle for being in a popular group together.

Maurice was still the most popular guy.

Other then like Noah.

Yeah.

*awkward*

Several other kids came in, but I didn't really recognize any of them. They all had that "sort of familiar" look that I knew was because I'd seen them in the hallways at school.

Anyway, so we were just sitting there obediently (Me: I'm bored. Noah: I bet I'm more bored. Me: Don't count on it.) when all of a sudden a voice boomed from behind us, "HELLO, KIDS! WELCOME TO YOUR SUMMER COOKING CLASS! I'M MRS. KARP!"

We all turned, a little bit horrified by her loud voice. In front of us was the dread huge, fat, and ugly sixth grade history teacher that was rumored to have put the mayor to sleep in class as a kid. (and he makes the most boring speeches) She looked like a decaying dinosaur, except not quite as pretty. Her hair should've been white, but it was dyed a violent red, teased up into a huge beehive hairdo. Large black glasses sat like a block on her Roman nose. She wore old ucky eighties clothes that would've made us die if our mothers had even tried it on.

Oh my gosh.

This couldn't be real!

"We're going to die," groaned Noah under his breath.

"I HOPE YOU'RE ALL COMFY," she went on, "BECAUSE NOW YOU'RE IN MY CLASS! AND IN MY CLASS, 'COMFY' ISN'T IN OUR VOCABULARY! NOW, WHO WANTS TO START COOKING?!"

Nobody raised their hands.

"EXCELLENT! LET'S START WITH THE BAKED POTATO!"

Baked potato? What kind of a cooking class was this?!

"I'M BREAKING YOU INT GROUPS! YOU, YOU, YOU, AND YOU, TOGETHER! YOU, YOU, YOU, AND YOU, TOGETHER! YOU, YOU, YOU, AND YOU, TOGETHER! AND YOU?!" I was the last kid left, and she was giving me the evil eye. "YOU'LL BE COOKING WITH ME, YOUNG LADY!"

I was definitely going to die.

Noah was off with some kids that we didn't know, and the popular kids were all split up. Mrs. Karp grabbed my arm and hauled me over to another table so that it was just the two of us.

"WELL, GET COOKING!" she yelled, sitting down and putting her feet up on the table. She grabbed a book with a name that didn't look so great and started to read.

I stared at the table. A potato, fork, and plate were in front of me. I got to work, and placed the ready potato into the microwave when I was done, putting it on for... I glanced over my shoulder at Mrs. Karp. How long was I supposed to cook just one potato? At home, we always made four. (one for each of my parents and two for me, because I was always starving) So how long did you just cook one potato?

"Um, Mrs. Karp...?" I started.

"DON'T TALK, JUST COOK!" she shouted back at me.

I cringed, and put the potato in, my finger hesitating over the quick-cook numbers. Finally, I clicked the five. I was cooking it for five minutes. Yeah. That was right. Right?

I sat down awkwardly at the table, starting to twiddle my thumbs. Was that potato done yet? I avoided looking at Mrs. Karp, looking all around the room. I closed my eyes for a few moments.

What woke me up sounded like a hand grenade.

Someone screamed.

I jumped out of my chair and turned around.

My potato was exploding in the microwave!

"YEEK!" I cried, jumping over and turning it off.

I yanked open the door. The fizzled potato looked like garbage. A few more pops, and then it was only the smoke.

"THERE'S A FIRE!" one of the girls screamed.

Well... let's just say the fire alarm went off and we all got rushed out of there. I didn't want to go back the next week, but Mom made me.

So, yeah.

Could it get any worse?!

Love,
Jessie

*fictional

Jessie's Horrible Summer Plans

Dear Readers,

OH MY GOSH I'M SO MAD AT STORYTELLER THAT SHE HASN'T POSTED ANY OF MY STORIES IN LIKE FOREVER!!!!!!!

Oh, yeah, hi, this is Jessie Bender. :)

Welllllllll.... you probably wouldn't have liked the stories that I've been sending Storyteller lately, anyway. (Baby Will walking... Baby Will said his first word... Baby Will has an addiction to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...) But she could've AT LEAST posted them... I mean, come on...

Anyway, I suppose you could say I, uh, *cough cough* hacked into her email account and are posting this right now. (OK, OK, she gave me her password for other purposes and I just came on. So what??) Anyway, so I should probably start explaining, right?

I can't believe it's already June!! School's out, so thankfully I'm not seeing the terrible three (Maya and the two other stinker girls) and Maurice (*shiver*).  And Noah has been coming over to help me with baby Will and play football in the backyard.

That's the good news.

The bad news is that Mom signed me up for a cooking class, Noah got signed up for it, too, and then our parents decided that we should both sign up for a class about first aid, and then another swimming class at the pool.

The worst part?

Maya, Summer, Ladasha, and Marcus are all signed up for the same thing.

Maya--OH MY GOSH SOMEBODY PLEASE HOLD ME BACK OR I'M GOING TO KILL THAT JERK!!

Summer--READ ABOVE.

Ladasha--READ ABOVE AGAIN.

Marcus--OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO PUKE!!

The only thing that's going to make it better is Noah. And yet our phone conversation wasn't that happy on Friday.

Me: So.

Noah: So.

Me: We got signed up for lots of stinking awful lessons with our worst enemies.

Noah: You mean three of our worst enemies and the guy who has a secret crush on you.

Me: (hisses) DON'T EVEN MENTION THAT!

Noah: Sorry.

Me: It's not funny.

Noah: What?

Me: Marcus.

Noah: I know.

Me: You're laughing at me.

Noah: What? No I'm not!

Me: Yes, you are. I can just imagine your face.

Noah: Jessie, what on earth are you talking about?!

Me: It's horrible. It's just too horrible.

Noah: (sighs and says awkwardly) It'll... it'll be OK, Jessie. I'll be there to fend off the meanies.

Me: Thanks, buddy.

Noah: No problem.

Me: We're going to die, aren't we?

Noah: Yep.

Me: Bye.

Noah: Bye.

I don't think there's much hope for our future...

Love,
Jessie

Note from Storyteller: this is fictional story. Jessie is fictional, and so obviously nobody's hacked into my account. =P

THE TIME HAS FINALLY COME!!!!!!!!!

Dear Readers,

Hey, this is Jessie. :)

Soooooo... I haven't really said anything about Mom's growing baby bump.

But I kind of have to tell you.

BABY WILL HAS ARRIVED!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!

He's like THE CUTEST baby EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! I already love him. :) I'm feeling as proud as peacock that I have a brother. (*strange me*) He's got dark hair like mine and blue eyes. Doesn't that just sound adorable?!?! Gah, I wish I could show him to you.... :)

Well, he came a few days ago, and now we're home, but anyway.... =P

Anyway, so at school I was just like hopping around and telling everybody, "I HAVE A BABY BROTHER!!" And then Noah comes up to me.

Noah: Hey, Jessie.

Me: WILL WAS BORN!!!!!

Noah: *grins teasingly* What, you didn't name him Noah?

Me: *snorts* Of course not! His name's Will! You know--William? Willie?

Noah: Yeah, yeah. So you're excited?

Me: *thinking: duh* YES!!!!!

Noah: Great!! When can I see him?

Me: You sound like an anxious dad. haha

Noah: *glares* Very funny.

Me: You can come after school. That way you can help me with my homework, too.

Noah: Oh, OK.

And at just that moment, my two least favorite girls in the world walked up.

Yep.

Ladasha and Maya.

"Noah," giggled Maya. "What're you doing today?"

Ladasha smiled at him, too. "You're the quarterback on the middle school team, right?"

I just wanted to roll my eyes and walk off, but before I could even get a step, Noah grabbed my arm and said quickly, "Yeah, we've got to go," and then ran off.

Yeah, well, I didn't really like using myself as cover. But I seriously felt bad for the dude. So it was OK. Besides, we're best friends. He'd like do it for me if something like that happened to me and Maurice, right? (because he's my least favorite guy...)

Then Noah came to the house and looked just about mesmerized by baby Willie. (he IS the cutest baby ever...) We played with him all afternoon. Willie has the brightest little eyes. They followed Noah around everywhere. It was so cute. :)

Anyway, I'll give you more updates later. ;)

Love,
Jessie

P.S. I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER!!!!!!

The Day of Jokes

Dear Readers,

Hiya, this is Jessie Bender. ;)

I know I didn't write on April Fool's Day, but I was definitely busy. ;)

And so I thought I'd recount my adventures on that day.

[Just to warn you, others were busy, too....]

Anyway, so it's kind of unspoken rule in my house that you DON'T DO APRIL FOOL'S JOKES. But, of course, Noah hadn't said anything about them, right? =D I was fully prepared to hit my best friend--hard--when April Fool's rolled around...

Since it was a Monday, it was like perfectly perfect. First day of school for that week, and April Fool's. I'd been hoping that Noah would forget what the date was.

Amazingly, he did.

Me: (walks into school, spots Noah, smiles and runs over) Hey, Noah!

Noah: Oh, hey, Jessie.

Me: (see he's not wearing green. Pinches him)

Noah: (frowns) What was THAT for??

Me: (pinches him again)

Noah: Gee, Jessie, stop it!

Me: You're not wearing green.

Noah: So?

Me: It's April first.

Noah: Yeah...

Me: You know--April Fool's Day?

Noah: (light bulb goes on in his head) Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

I was fully decked out in everything green that I could possibly think of--green pants, green shirt, green socks, green shoes, even a green ponytail!! (and I'd snagged a green bag of Mom's for my books)

"Wait," Noah started. "You're not going to launch anything else on me, are you?"

I just grinned. "Have you been by your locker yet?"

Noah's face paled. "No. What did you do?"

I shrugged. "Nothing. Hey, look over there!"

Noah looked and then turned back to me with a confused frown. "There's nothing..."

"I was sure there was," I joked. "Come on."

"Oh, I get it," Noah called up to me as I started walking towards his locker. "You've been on blogs figuring out how to do April Fool's Jokes, haven't you? That was all a joke!"

My friend's obviously not stupid.

By the time lunch came around, I'd run out of jokes to play on my friend.

But he'd just started.

I opened my locker after lunch to find all of my books switched up. I glared. Now how on earth had he gotten in to my locker?! Then I got so confused by our teacher switching up our seats for a joke that I didn't think about it when Noah yelled, "Look over there!" And then everybody laughed at me. OK, maybe these jokes weren't so funny. But at least I'd done them between just us!

And THEN I stopped by my locker just as school ended and found a note that read, "I hate you."

"This is horrible," I whispered.

"What's wrong?" Suddenly Noah showed up.

I showed him the note.

He burst out laughing.

"What?" I demanded.

"It's April Fool's," he pointed.

"So?" I snorted.

"So that means that whatever it says is the opposite," he pointed out.

Oh NO!

This was even WORSE!

As you can probably guess, Noah wouldn't stop laughing the whole ride in his mom's car back to his house. (I'd made a deal with him--we'd both stop doing jokes on each other, and I'd come and help him with his homework.... Mom, of course, had approved.) l

As for me... HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE?!!!!????!?!

Love,
Jessie

Jessie the Intercom Lady

Dear Readers,

Hey, what's up? This is Jessie Bender, coming back to you to tell you that...

OK-it's-really-not-like-that-I...

Wait, Noah hasn't told you?

Oh, thank GOODNESS!

I really thought I was dead meat, but...

Oh, stink, now you want to know what on earth I'm talking about?

OK, fine, I'll tell you guys.

But you'd better not laugh, alright?

So I was in the newspaper office when I just thought of something.

"I really don't like the newspaper," I whispered. "And I always get paired with the jerks that I hate."

So I went and resigned.

Pretty much.

Noah: *at lunch* Why on earth?! Now I won't show up on the newspaper's front cover as much!!

Me: Um, excuse me??? Is that all I really am to you? Your publicity?

Noah: Well, of course not, I mean...

Me: You mean the only reason that you're friends with me isn't because I'm amazingly funny and everything interesting happens to me but because you just want to be in the newspaper...? I can't believe that you would DO that to me!

Noah: Of course not! Calm down, Jessie!

And that's when I came up with the great idea.

"Noah," I started, "I want to be over the intercom."

He looked at me. "What?"

"You know," I snorted. "Like I say the Pledge of Allegiance in the morning, I give out all of the reports, I tell people they have to go to the principal's office... Look, didn't you know that an eighth grader girl did it last year?"

Noah laughed. "Yeah, but you're not an eighth grader. You're a seventh grader."

I glared at him. "That's not the point. That's the job I want to do."

"Jessie," Noah sighed, "are you sure?"

I snorted. "Of course I'm sure! What could possibly happen?"

So then I got myself signed up. Like everybody in the entire school knows me, so of course they wanted me to work the intercom.

At first it was pretty awesome--"Zach Hall, Zach Hall, please get down to the principal's office" "Everyone must turn in their reports for Girl of the Year before Tuesday" "I pledge allegiance, to the flag..."--but then something really awful happened.

OK, that's the end.

Just kidding.

I was sitting in side of The Box, as I called it, and was about to get started on the huge list of things I had to say over the intercom when somebody knocked on the glass.

It was, unfortunately, Maya.

I groaned and opened the window. "What on earth do you want?"

She just smiled, handed me a note, and walked away. I turned it over. It read please read over the intercom immediately. I rolled my eyes. Really, Maya?

I sighed, turned on the mike, and started reading.

"Marcus has a secret crush on... oh my gosh, I'm going to puke!" I couldn't believe I'd just said that. I stared in horror at the mike, and then quickly switched it off. "MAYA!" I shrieked.

And that's not even the most horrible part.

I get back to my house, horrified, tell Mom and Dad, and then what happens? I get a phone call. No, no, not from Marcus, from Noah.

Me: Hello?

Noah: It's true. He confessed.

Me: What're you talking about?

Noah: Um, the thingy on the intercom? He just confessed to me that it was true.

Me: YUCK I'M GOING TO PUKE RIGHT NOW!!!!

Noah: Just relax.

Me: How can I?! It's not like it said "Maya has a really huge overly noticable crush on Noah" it SAID "Marcus has a secret crush on Jessie Bender"!!! I'm going to DIE!

Mom: *from the other room* Oh, lighten up. It's not like you're really going to marry him.

Me: ?!!!!!!?????

Noah: Jessie, just relax.

How can I? I'M GOING TO DIE!!!

Love,
Jessie

P.S. MAJOR HELP!!!!!!!

Lime Baseball

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie. You're not going to believe what happened!!!!!!

OK, so, the other day I got an invitation to go to Noah's house for a party. (I was pretty sure it was something about the football... [because, you know, I did save them by dressing up as the mascot that one time...... ONE OF THE MOST HORRIBLE DAYS EVER.] but my best friend's emails aren't always the easiest to interpret. =P)

Anyway, so I talked to my mom, and she was like...

Mom: Of course your going! Noah's your best friend!

Me: Are you sure? I mean, from Noah's email, it sounded like just him and his football buddies.

Mom: Of course! I know all of their parents. It'll be fine.

Me: OK, but I'm not going to be wrangled into dressing up as a mascot.

Mom: O course not!

So that's how I found myself standing in front of Noah's house.

"Hey, Jessie!" Noah ran out of the house. "Come on--we're about to start playing Imaginiff." He paused, and then leaned forward and hissed, "By the way, I've just got to warn you that Marcus is here."

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"WHAT?!" my voice squeaked. "Are you kidding!?"

"No," he answered.

"Look," I hissed, "I can't go in there. I hate that kid. I'll probably starting throwing food at him, and I don't want to do that."

"Look," Noah whispered, "it'll be fine. Come on."

He practically dragged me into the house, where his mom was trying to save all of her precious vases and picture frames. (I would've given it up.) Noah's football buddies were running around the house like crazy. (I'm serious. Middle school boys are so immature. =P) Marcus was sitting like a board, glaring, on Noah's couch.

"I need to leave," I hissed. "My mind's already thinking of ways to booby trap Marcus!"

"It'll be fine," Noah told me. "Just relax. Hey, you can go and help Mom in the kitchen, OK?"

I watched his mom catch a picture that was falling off the wall. "Noah, your mom's not IN the kitchen."

"Well, you know what I mean." He pushed me towards the door. "Go on."

I went into the kitchen. Paper plates and cups sat on the kitchen table, next to a bowl full of limes and oranges and a platter of sandwiches.

"What's this party really for, anyway?" I muttered, picking up a lime and throwing it between my hands like a baseball.

CRASH!!! The sound made me cringe and then run angrily into Noah's living room. Marcus was standing with a smug smile over a broken vase.

"YOU HOOLIGAN!" I shouted at him.

And then I did something really awful.

I threw the lime at his head.

"OOF!" He fell to the ground, rubbing the back of his head. Then he stood up and glared at me. "What was that for?!"

As you can imagine, I was horrified.

It ended up that I apologized, Noah's mom cut the party short, and we went home.

HAD I REALLY JUST THROWN A LIME AT MARCUS???????

Oh stink.

Love,
Jessie

Relations Conversations

Dear Readers,

Hey, this is Jessie!!

Well, ever since the "newspaper rebuke" (=P) I've been carrying a camera around everywhere and snapping pictures. What do you guys think of these??

Oh, stink, it's not letting me upload. Sorry. =P

Anyway, so I've got news on the baby.

I mean, Willie.

(Don't remember him being called Willie? Skip over here.)

Anyway, so Mom and Dad have just been ecstatic over Willie. And Mom's got a bump now. I think he's supposed to be due in June or something like that. Anyway, I'm excited. Soon I'll be Jessie, the crazy and dramatic older sister!!! :) Yay!!!!!!

This morning Noah called me to talk about Willie.

Noah: So, like, what's he like?

Me: Noah, duh, he hasn't been born yet. I have no idea what he's like. Baby cuteness?

Noah: haha, very funny.

Me: Well, you said it...

Noah: Anyway, you'll let me know when Willie comes, right? I feel like I'm his uncle or something.

Me: *snorts* His uncle? Are you kidding? That would mean that like..... oh my gosh I'm going to puke....

Noah: What's wrong?

Me: NOAH!

Noah: Oh, sorry, I didn't mean an uncle like THAT!

Me: I hope not.

Noah: Of course not.

Me: *glares even though he can't see it* Yeah, well, I'll let you PRETEND that you're his uncle, OK?

Noah: Wait a sec. If I was his uncle, it would not be like I was married to you!

Me: *pauses* Oh, right, duh. He's my brother.

Noah: I'd have to be his brother-in-law.

Me: Which isn't happening.

Noah: Duh.

Me: Anyway, so.... yeah, I'll call you once Willie's born.

Noah: Can I go with you guys to the hospital?

Me: Noah, I don't think you're going to be with us. Besides, who's going to drive you over? Your mom? She works.

Noah: I'll walk.

Me: To the hospital. On probably a school day.

Noah: Yeah, sure. I'll fake puking, so they'll let me out of school.

Me: Don't you think they'll get suspicious when you just walk off down the sidewalk?

Noah: Jessie, they'd take me back to my house and then when they're gone I can just walk to the hospital. It's foolproof!

Me: *snorts* I doubt it. What if they watch your house?

Noah: What do you think they are, the FBI?

Me: Hey, I read a book once about librarians being spies... anyway...

Noah: What?! Seriously?

Me: Yeah, it was called the Brixton Brothers series. ANYWAY, we'll figure out something. Either way, you'll eventually see Willie.

Noah: OK. Hey, I gotta go. Bye!

Me: Bye.

So, yeah.....

And if you want to hear more about the Brixton Brothers, I can badger Storyteller until she writes a book review. ;)

Until later!

Love,
Jessie

Newspaper Reminders

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie. The baby's on the way, and I'm way excited!! (Though I'm not enjoying the smell of baby powder that's now in the house since Dad accidently dumped a whole bottle on the floor.... Not cool.) Since the spaghetti fight, the heat has totally been cut off, though Maya's still a jerk.

Oh yeah.

Josh sent me an email. (Apparently, I'm been neglecting my newspaper duties...)(And if you don't remember, Josh is the leader of the newspaper... yeah, and I'm paired to work with Michael. *horrible*)

To: Jessie Bender <dramaticcrazyjessie@gmail.com>
From: josh.newspaper@yahoo.com (I knew at once that it was the Josh-from-my-school Josh)

Jessie,

Sheesh, what've you been?! You were like really good at the newspaper, and then you just like dropped your responsibilities. If you're going to be no the newspaper, please remember that you ARE. Thank you. And don't forget that you're paired with Michael!!

Josh

Gee, thanks, dude.

Anyway, I DO want to be on the newspaper, so this is what I sent back.

To: josh.newspaper@yahoo.com
From: Jessie Bender <dramaticcrazyjessie@gmail.com>

Josh,

I'm still paired with Michael?? OK, OK, I still want to be in... sorry, it's just I was really busy and then I kind of forgot. :/

Jessie

Then I sent it.

I was going to have to come up with a pretty good story to get me back on the newspaper....

Love,
Jessie

How Jessie [accidentally] started the second spaghetti fight of the year

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie. I'd been so happy about the baby, that when I went to school on Monday something really horrible just had to happen. I should've NEVER forgotten what Maya had yelled at me at the dance! And now I was going to pay.

I was walking into the cafeteria when all of a sudden Maya jumped up on one of the tables. Ladasha looked at her like she was nut (I could see it all over her face--"That girl just got herself demoted to most unpopular person in the school...") and Summer looked horrified.

"Jessie!" she shouted.

I cringed and stopped, turning around.

"I heard that..."

You can kind of guess the rest. You know--she went off and convinced everybody in the cafeteria that Noah and I were dating. (I didn't want to right the whole thing, because she said a lot of nasty stuff, too, and I didn't want you guys to have read that.)

I was hopping mad. Still, I prayed to God for help and walked over to where Noah was sitting at the table. Michael who, if you remember, used to be the most popular kid in the school and also head of the school newspaper which I was apart of, came over and started talking.

"You know," he started, "no offense, but it seems that you haven't done much for the newspaper lately."

I sighed. "Sorry. I need my camera so I can take some pictures and stuff."

Michael handed me one. "You can start today. We need some school life pictures for the yearbook people."

"OK,"  I sighed.

Michael walked off.

And that's when Maya stood back up on the table.

"Jessie!" she yelled at me. "You think you're something, huh?"

I didn't answer.

"Jessie, look at me! Unless you're a coward!"

I didn't do anything.

But I was thinking.

And thinking hard.

I really had to do something about this problem.

I glanced down at my plate.

It was spaghetti.

I turned and stood up on my own table, Noah giving me a bewildered look.

"OK, Maya," I started. "Stop harassing me, or I'll throw this spaghetti at you." I'd grabbed my plate and picked up a glob of spaghetti in my hand.

She snorted. "You wouldn't."

Splat! But it wasn't ME who'd thrown it!

I glanced around the side of Maya and saw the Sisterhood Squad--Spy, Addy, etc.--all holding globs of spaghetti. Before I could stop them, Spy screamed at the top of her lungs, "FOOD FIGHT!"

And so started the second spaghetti food fight of the year for poor Dayton Middle School.

And, no, I actually never threw any spaghetti.

You know what I DID do?

I grabbed my camera and started snapping pictures left and right.

And, of course, dodged spaghetti.

Let's just say that by the time the teachers got everybody under control, nobody was too sure who'd really started it so we all get sent home with a warning.

Hmm................ ;)

Love,
Jessie

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BABY!

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie.

And I've to come to say that.....

.......I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SUMMER!!!!!

Mostly because of that fact that then I'll never have to see Maya again.

Until school starts back up.

Ugh.

And more baby news--we found out that it's a little boy, and my parents decided that his name's going to be William. Then they decided we'll call him Willie while he's really little, and then when he's starting to talk we'll call him Will. Interesting.

Anyway, so the old room down the hall that used to house all of our old junk is now being converted into a baby room. We've got it all painted, and now Mom's always driving us around to Good Wills and such getting all of these baby supplies.

And, you'll be proud to know, I've kind of come to accept it.

And now I'm actually kind of excited!!

I mean, a little baby brother?! SWEET!

I'm actually really, really, really excited. (And it's not only because Mom says she's going to actually teach me how to change the baby and that she'll probably be doing it most of the time.) And now I'm going to have the sibling that I kind of (secretly) always wanted. And then I can be like all of those girls who walk around the park, carrying their little sibling...

Aww. That's so cute. :)

I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!

Love,
Jessie

A very short letter from Jessie and a message from Storyteller.err.Katrina

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie, and I just got back to my own beautiful house in Dayton, Ohio, and away from the farm. PHEW! I'm glad to be back.

Bye!

P.S.From.Storyteller.err.Katrina. OK, just to say, Abigail Jane Applegate WILL be coming back, but she's very different. Everything's that happened before... it's zilch. So, we're starting over! Clean slate! Whoohoo!! Keep a lookout for it. ;)

A Horsey Adventure

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie.

And guess what?

I've got news.

My parents decided that they were going to let me have a "sleepover" at my cousin's house.

OK, so my cousin lives in Indiana on this farm where they have all of these horses and animals and whatnot.

I suppose it's because they didn't like me freaking out about the baby.

Urgh.

Anyway, so I got my things together and got shipped off.

My cousin, Adriane, happens to be kind of a horse-whisperer. She's the one who takes care of the horses and is kind of like their lead mare.

And guess what happened this morning?

So I was playing in their barn with the kittens that they have with my younger cousin, Lilly, when all of a sudden Adriane comes running in.

"Jessie!" she yelled. "I need your help--RIGHT NOW!"

So I jumped down from the loft (OK, OK, I used the ladder... ;D) and she yelled at me to grab one of the horses' halter (which the leadrope attached) and another leadrope, explaining that one of the horses had gone and jumped the fence. (OH GREAT!) Then she took off running, a bucket of grain in hand. I came stumbling after her.

She was already with the horse, letting it fill its stomach greedily with the grain. Blood oozed from this really nasty cut on its leg. She told me to put the leadrope around the horse's neck, which I did. Then she slowly pulled away the mostly-empty bucket and put the horse's halter on. Then she told me to walk ahead with the empty feed bucket and get the other horses into the corral.

At first, I was kind of freaked out. Me? Horses? They hadn't mixed. EVER. We'd have to see if I survived...

So I went ahead, not running, and got the other horses into the corral while she got the horse she pulled along into the corral. Then she told me to go and get some healing salve and a bucket full of warm water and a soft cloth. I managed to find all of them, and quickly got them back out to her.

Now I could really see all of the damage that the horse had gone and done to herself. Other than the oozing cut on her leg, there was a kind of chunk/cut taken out just above that leg (not that much...). She also had a small cut on the other leg. Adriane told me she was lucky. Apparently some horses look like Joey in War Horse after trying to jump a fence. (Though our horsey friend actually HAD jumped the fence...)

Yeah, so that's my adventure.

Pretty crazy, huh?

Love,
Jessie

Based on real-life events.

A Childish Occurrence

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie. The heat still hasn't died done. URGH!

But I get home from school, and Mom and Dad are sitting on the couch. I frowned, hesitated, and then came in, wondering what on earth was going on.

"Uh, hey," I managed, dropping my backpack on the chair by the door. "Um, what's going on? You guys just have a little heart-to-heart talk or something? Because if so, I can leave..."

"Oh, no, actually, we were waiting for you to come home," smiled Mom, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear, giving that knowing smile to Dad.

"Oh, really?" I plopped down on one of the chairs.

"Yeah," agreed Dad. "We've got some important news."

I froze. Oh great!! We weren't moving, were we?! I still remembered with horror when we'd almost moved to Dodo, Alaska. YEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! With sweaty palms and a gulp, I looked up at them.

"So what's the news?" I whispered.

"Well...." Dad smiled at Mom.

"We're..." started Mom.

"...Going to be having a baby!" they both said at the same time.

I about choked. A BABY?! Were they kidding!? They couldn't have a baby!! I'd be like thirteen years older than it!! That was HORRIBLE!!!!! And it was probably going to be all stinky and whatever and I'd have to go and change all of its diapers. And then Mom and Dad would pay more attention to the baby than to me.

Ugh.

"Oh, uh, that's great," I managed feebly.

While they were rejoicing together, I went upstairs to my laptop and quickly shot Noah an email.

To: Noah Darcy <savethekoalabears@yahoo.com
From: Jessie Bender <dramaticcrazyjessie@gmail.com>
Subject: THE WORLD HAS COME TO AN END!!!

Noah,
I'm serious!! My parents are having a BABY!!!!!!! How horrible is that?! What am I going to do??!!?! I need some help!!!!!!!!!
Jessie

I quickly sent the email before I could change my mind.

What am I going to do?????

*Embarrassing!*

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie. And I've come to announce that I'm hopping mad at Summer!!!

Mostly because of the last thing I heard come out of her mouth!!!!

And now her horrible words have become this really bad rumor.

Thankfully, Noah has chosen to ignore it all.

(For a guy, he really is an awesome best friend.....)

It's horrible. I walked through the hallway and pinned to my locker was this note--

"Jessie loves Noah."

I admit it. I about puked!!

The next time I went to my locker the note was gone. I was pretty sure it had been Noah. Thanks, buddy. I owe you one.

Every time I saw Summer, she was just glaring fiercely at me. I kind of wondered why. I mean, I suppose she might LIKE Noah, but I would think that that stinky Maurice was more of her type, if you know what I mean...

Either way, when school ended I sprinted out the door, running into Mom's waiting car and yelled, "STEP ON IT, MOM!!!"

When I explained the whole situation, Mom admitted there wasn't anything she could do.

Me: Are you serious?

Mom: Uh, yeah...

Me: Can't you like talk to the principal or something?!

Mom: What can he do about it?! You can't make a whole school stop talking about something!!

Me: What about the Nazis?!

Mom: Jessie, what about them?

Me: Well, they made people stop reading Jewish books and whatever, so I think that the principal could...

Mom: Jessie, this isn't 1940!!

Me: I know...

Mom: You're just going to have to grin and bear.

Me: Grin and bear it?! More like PUKE and bear it!! It's embarrassing!! He's just my best friend. Can't they get over it?

Mom: Apparently not....

Isn't this awful?!

Party Horrors

Dear Readers,

Hey, this is Jessie!!

Let's just say that you probably don't want to hear about the dance.

What? You DO?!

OK, your funereal.

(It WASN'T MY FAULT, okay?!)

OK, so, like, I got ready, and then Noah's mom came over and we all went to the dance and got dropped off, and the whole time we were joking all over the place.

And then we finally got there, and the whole thing was totally decked out like this huge castle or something, with streamers and big paper cutouts and lots of crazy stuff. We were pretty much like "are you serious? This was the GYM?!"

So then Noah's mom drove off and we just walked in there like old pals. I think that Noah wanted us to go, but didn't want to go with me and ask because he was afraid that I'd think he was going all weirdo on me. So it was all relaxed and totally friend-to-friend, which was what I wanted.

When we walked in, Summer looked about ready to burst.

"What's her problem?" I snorted.

"Probably ate a sweet pickle," chuckled Noah. "Come on. I think I see some food over there."

Boys. Always thinking about food.

OK, OK, I admit it--I was starved. So we hurried over and attacked the food and then sat on in the chairs by the wall and watched the drama unfold. Pretty interesting.

First, Summer got jealous about Ladasha and "secretly" (not very. We could see the whole thing.) tripped Ladasha so that she fell right into Maurice, who'd been dancing with another girl who I'd never met.

Then Ladasha went and started yelling things that I wont repeat at Summer, which got everybody horrified and hushed. THEN the principal showed up and demanded what on earth was going on. Then Summer lied and said that Maurice had taken her out and then been ignoring her the whole time.

Then Ladasha told her that she was a liar--TO HER FACE--and then they both got taken off to the principal's office.

Then I got wrangled into dancing, and then Maurice asked me, and then I had to dance again with Noah, then I hid over by the refreshment table, and then, and only THEN, did the dance finally come to and end.

I LOVE YOUR TIMING, GOD.

But then something really horrible happened. Summer had somehow escaped the hands of the principal and, just as I was walking out, yelled,

"SO YOU'RE LIKE DATING NOAH, AREN'T YOU, JESSIE?!"

And I was horrified that I nearly fell over, and Noah grabbed my arm and we ran towards the door.

So then I finally managed to escape.

With Noah's help, of course.

#WORSTNIGHTEVER

An Angel in Disguise

Dear Readers,

So I emailed Noah about what Mom said, and Noah said, sure, why shouldn't we just go as friends? So Mom went off and got a dress and some flats and I was made to suffer through school.

I was just coming out of the bathroom during the lunch hour when I felt somebody grab my arm. I looked up and saw Ladasha moving me. I wished, at that moment, that Madeline, one of the best shots of the spaghetti fight, had been there to save me as Ladasha pushed me into an empty classroom.

"Did Maurice ask you to the dance?!" she demanded, eyes glaring.

It was the first time I'd ever talked to her, but so far I wasn't liking our conversation.

"Um, yeah," I admitted.

"And did you accept!?" Her eyes were huge.

"Um, no," I snorted.

Ladasha angrily whirled around on her high heel. "I can't believe that he would ask you! I'm the most pretty girl in this school, the best in everything, and then the one person who could even be at least a little like me, goes and asks YOU!"

"Hey," I started, "I didn't ask him to."

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T!" she yelled at me. "BUT YOU DON'T DESERVE IT!"

"Hey, what's going on in here?" A brown-haired girl with blue eyes walked into the room. "What on earth are you doing to her?!" She was glaring right at Ladasha.

Ladasha's eyes grew big, and then she laughed nervously. "Nothing's going on." She sneered at me and then stalked out.

"Thanks for saving me," I sighed in relief.

"No problem," she winked. "My name's Alyssa."

"Jessie," I nodded.

"See you later," she nodded, walking off.

Amazingly, I never ever saw her again.

Could she have been an angel?

"Yes, you can go..."

Dear Readers,

This is Jessie. Anyway, more dance details...

So everybody's been worked up into a frenzy over this thing. I walk through the hallways, and everybody's rushing about doing SOMETHING. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane person in the world.

It's kind of also hard to concentrate on your studies when all you hear are whispers behind you--"I'm going to wear blah blah blah" "I love your nails!" "What're YOU going to do with your hair?" "I can't wait!"

My teachers tried to take care of it, but you know what middle school's like.

Let's just say they failed.

Miserably.

Mom and Dad have been trying to cheer me up, but I point out that it's annoying and, besides, I'm not even going.

"You're not?" Dad frowned.

"Uh, no," I said. "I didn't think I was allowed to..."

"Of course you're going!" Mom declared. "I went to a dance in middle school and had a blast. After the dance my best friend and I rigged this..."

"OK, so wait." I held up my hands. "I'm allowed to go?"

"Yep," nodded Mom. "Though I don't want you going with anybody. Unless Noah asks, of course. Then it'd just be like a friend-to-friend outing."

"Oh, yeah," I snorted. "I really see that happening. Noah would never ask me, Mom."

"Hmm." Mom's eyes looked away.

Yeah, weird.

Love,
Jessie

Dance Troubles

Dear Readers,

Yes, this is Jessie again.

So, anyway, I went into school the other day and there was this huge sign tacked up on the wall in front of the library.

Every Day's a Fairytale

Middle School Dance Hosted by Dayton Public Middle School

Dance the night away!

I was pretty much like, "what??? A DANCE!? Why not a jousting tournament!?!?"

And then I walked into my classroom and like two boys that I didn't even know walked up to me and asked me out to the dance. 

"Um, I'm not even sure I'm going," I told the first one. "Sorry."

He walked away. And the next one walked up. When I told him the same thing, he took it as a no, too, and walked off, dejected.

"THERE'S A DANCE!" Maya was shrieking in the cafeteria that afternoon. 

The Sisterhood Squad looked about ready to pummel her. I finally located Noah, who'd been dodging me all day, it seemed, and sat down next to him.

"So what do YOU think about the dance?" I snorted, taking a big bite out of my homemade sandwich.

He just shrugged.

I sighed. "Come on. What's bothering you?"

"You," he answered.

I frowned, finished my sandwich, and walked out.

Where I was confronted by Maurice Mendoza.

As usual, the richie from Florida who looked like Spanish royalty was far from nervous. Cockily, he walked up to me and handed me a piece of paper, walking off.

Suddenly, Noah was by my side.

"What's that?" he demanded.

I looked down at the piece of paper. "Uh... I don't know. Maurice just handed it to me."

"Well?" Noah was getting edgy. "Open it up!"

I sighed and opened it up.

And almost puked.

Dear Jessie,

I was wondering if you wanted to go to the dance with me. Leave a replying note in my bag after school.

Maurice

"I'm going to be sick!" I announced.

Noah grabbed the note, looking about read to tear it up. "This is horrible!"

"I know!" I cried. "What am I going to do?!"

Noah looked up, pale. "Well, of course you're not going to go with him, are you?"

"No," I snorted. "I'll just have to leave a replying note." 

I grabbed the note back from Noah and wrote:

Maurice,

Thanks for the invitation, but I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to go with you. Sorry.

Jessie

Noah grabbed it. "Perfect. I'll give it to him."

I snatched it back. "Of course you're not! I'M going to give it to him, because I'M the one who got the note in the first place!"

He sighed. "Fine." Then he grinned. "Wait a sec. Everybody thought that he would ask like Ladasha or Summer or Maya."

"So?" I snorted.

"Well..." Noah licked his lips, like he was coming up with this brilliant plan. "Maybe we could..."

"I am NOT going to show this off in their faces!" I declared. "That's just mean. I'm going to give Maurice the note and that's that."

"Jessie, wait." Noah grabbed my arm just as I was about to walk off.

"What?" I sighed.

"Never mind," he shrugged. "Bye."

I ran off.

What on EARTH am I going to do about this dance??

Ladasha the Beautiful

Dear Readers,

Hi, this is Jessie Bender. Yes, I'm finally back!!

Oh yeah--and that talk about the junior CIA? Just go and forget about that. You don't need to know anything. In fact, it might even endanger your very own life.

No, no, you're quite safe, just don't try to go and find me, OK?

Anyway, so after I got back Noah said he was never going to leave my side ever again--EVER AGAIN--but then I pointed out that obviously he didn't live at our house and wasn't going to any time soon. (Or ever. Hopefully never.)

I went to school and I was surprise when Maya ran up.

"JESSIE!" she shrieked, wrapping her arms around me.

"Oh, uh, hi," I managed. "How ya doing, Maya?"

Summer came down the hallway and rolled her eyes at us. "Oh, I see the loser's back."

"Don't call her a loser." It was Maurice, glaring fiercely at Summer. "Jessie Bender is definitely NOT a loser, and I'd like you to remember it!"

Summer rolled her eyes, muttering, "Whatever," and stalking off down the hallway in her high heels.

Noah stuck to my side like glue the whole time. Whenever I went somewhere he couldn't go (coughcoughGIRL'S BATHROOMcoughcough) he guarded the door like he was my personal bodyguard and I was president's daughter. That kid is my best friend, but, come on, it was kind of embarrassing.

I was just coming out of one of my classes when this beautiful girl who could've passed as an Indian princess walked down the hallway. I glanced over at Noah to see the affect she was having on him, but Noah was just rolling his eyes. I smiled. Good ol' Noah.

"That girl probably thinks she's so hot," muttered Noah. "Well, I'm going to break trends and call her ugly!"

"Noah," I warned.

"Well, you're much prettier," he announced.

"Thanks," I snorted. "Can we go to class now?"

We just started to go into our next class when Maya ran up to me. I couldn't understand why on earth she was even talking to me since she usually hated my guts, but she was. Excitedly, she began to say something in a hurried rush.

"Please," I begged. "Start over."

Maya rolled her eyes. "Did you see that girl out there? Her name's Ladasha, and she's from Chicago. Her dad's like this millionaire dude. They're super rich!"

"Wow," I managed.

"I think she's ugly," Noah announced.

Maya looked horrified. "No she's not! She's beautiful!"

"Well, I think she's one of the ugliest girls I've seen!" my best friend declared.

"You'd better not say that to her face," hissed Maya. "I hear that she's even doing modeling. She's been doing modeling for American Girl since she was like six! Isn't that creepy?! Lately, she's been working for even bigger companies! She's a star!"

"Then Jessie would be the sun," declared Noah. "Excuse us, we've got to go to class."

We sat down in our classroom. Madeline, a girl that I knew from being one of the best shots in the spaghetti war, leaned over and hissed, "I agree with you, Noah."

I wasn't sure which part she agreed with. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

But I can't help but wonder--what's going to happen with this Ladasha girl?

A Random Letter by Jessie Bender

Dear Readers,

That up there^ really IS just random.

Oh, yeah, by the way--this is Jessie.

Hey, what's up??

Yes, I'm finally back from New York and in my sweet little Dayton, Ohio!!! Gah, I love you. =D

I'm pretty much sure I never want to go back to New York. EVER.

Thanks to some of the kids, we were stuck in our hotel a lot, anyway.

(coughcoughNOAHcoughcoughSUMMERcoughcough)

Noah admits that he hadn't been TRYING to get in trouble, but when who is?

Let's just say that my best friend needs to read a book called "what you're supposed to do and what you're not supposed to do when you're on a school trip in New York City".

(not that there is such a book. But there should be.)

Anyway, life's back to slowness.

#i'mlovinit

(actually, somebody want to tell me why I always see that^< on facebook????)(thanks)

Bye!! :)