i want to fly. i want to soar. i want to paint the sky. i want to inspire. i want to smile. i want to laugh. i want to be free. i want to be brave. i want to be a hero. i want to be courageous. i want to love. i want to cry. i want to run. i want to be an adventurer. i want to try new things. i want to go to new places. i want to live for the One who created me. i want to give up the things that i need to, but have been holding onto. i want to give. i want to flee. i want to sob. i want to fly, fly, fly away, up into the sky, away from my troubles and worries.
i want to be me.
i sometimes... i sometimes feel like i'm on show. like i can't be myself around people. like i have to work so so so hard just to get them to like me. i can't even be a fraction of myself. if i could just be myself, i would probably be what i'm striving for. but i have to try so hard. i don't want to lose them. i don't want them to go away. i'm afraid that if i lose them, i'll be all alone. i don't want to be the outsider. i don't want to be the person that nobody talks to. i don't want to have to work at this. i just want to be myself.
i want a best friend.
i have amazing friends, some of the coolest and most amazing people you could ever meet. but i know something. they have other friends. they have best friends. we're good friends, but not best friends. we can act like best friends, but we aren't. i want a best friend. i want one. i've got myself so worked up trying to look for one. i should've just trusted God from the start. i still don't have one, but i'm willing to wait. i'm willing to live my life without even finding one. meanwhile, i will enjoy my amazing most incredible friends ever that i do have.
+enjoy your friends+
+life, laugh love+
+best friend, i hope you're out there+