Saturday, July 13, 2013
"meet me at the fair"
she was here, but where was he? she was tired of waiting for him. she'd waited for him all her life. waited for him to notice her. waited for him to realize that she wanted to marry him some day. waited for him to realize that he really loved her back.
she was tired of waiting. she didn't want it anymore.
then why, after five years, was she again waiting for him?
she glanced around, trying to see through the throng of people. she promised herself that if he didn't show up in the next ten minutes, that she would leave. never look back. never wait for him again, only to have it result in heartbreak once more. she wasn't going to wait for that. she was tired of waiting. she wanted somebody who she didn't have to wait for, somebody who would just realize who she was, what she thought, what she loved, and why. somebody who just loved her for her, instead of something that everybody else said about her. she wasn't shallow. she was full of depth. but he probably didn't even know that. probably didn't even care.
she waited ten minutes.
she couldn't bring herself to leave, not without knowing what he wanted. every time she thought about going, she got this feeling in her heart--a stab. she didn't want to leave. she wanted to believe that he would come and apologize for the waiting. to come and tell her what she really wanted to hear.
he loved her for her.
a hand was placed gently on her arm.
she turned around.
it was him.
he smiled. "cara, you look great."
she couldn't manage a smile, even for his sake. she felt tears come to her eyes, but she pushed them back. "thanks."
"i...cara, i know this is sudden..." he trailed off, looking away. "just do it," he whispered to himself. he turned to cara and before she could protest got down on one knee. "cara smith, will you marry me?"
her voice caught in her throat. she thought of all the waiting she had ever gone through. she thought about everything that this man had done to her... ignored her for five years, asked her to wait, then rejected her for someone else. this was the person who had pursued shallow girls, after knowing her depth. this was the same man.
her eyes flickered. she had to make a choice. what was it going to be? she was tired of waiting. what if he made her wait again?
"no." the coldness in her voice surprised herself.
rick's face fell. "no? why not?"
"because of every single time you made me wait," she spat. "every single time you ignored me and went for somebody else. i don't want you because you lost your fortune and no other girl will have you. i want you because you love me--me for me." she couldn't believe that she'd brought up his loss of fortune at a time like this. "i don't want to wait any longer. i'm tired of being treated like i don't matter."
she walked off.
and, surprisingly, she felt free.
Happy in a rather sad way...