Their words sting.
You wait, your lip trembling, hoping that they'll take them back.
They turn and fold their arms.
You run out of the room, trying to find somewhere safe.
And then you hide.
A tear falls down your cheek.
Everybody gets into arguments. Including me. Especially me. Everybody says things they regret. We all have confusing emotions that seem to plague us and sway us from what we want to do and say and from what we do do and say. I feel the waging emotions whenever I start to feel angry.
It rises up in my chest.
It's all knotted.
I just want it out!
I tell myself I shouldn't.
But I can't handle it anymore.
It's hard, isn't it? You just have that feeling your stomach. I always feel like my heart's in a knot. I just want it out! It's like when I yell, then it comes out. Then it disappears. But you know what else shows up?
She looks at me.
Her face's stony.
But I know that she's hiding her true feelings.
She walks away.
I hear a quiet sob.
Hurt. Because we just hurt someone.
If you're like me, you have a hard time controlling your anger. You just feel that injustice against you, and wham! It's a yell fest. I know, it's awful, right? I've been getting better. (The only person to thank is God...) But still. There's just those times that I just want to yell. And then... I do.
How can we control our anger? How can we stop from hurting people? It's hard. We definitely can't do it on our own. (Believe me. I've tried it. It just seems to make you more angry, if you ask me...) There's only one person who can help you.
I know I say that, but what do I mean by it? Anybody can say "God", but not really mean anything by it. And how do you actually change it? From one girl to another, all I can is, you'll be doing lots of praying. And watching yourself. If you feel yourself starting to get angry, try to think why you're angry. If the other person is just being ridiculous are they're really in the wrong (and you just normally end up looking like the bad guy because you yell), then all you have to do is...
1. If you're a kid, then approach your parent(s). They can help you. (My parents are strong Christians, so they've helped out a lot.)
2. If you're an adult, you might have to just walk away. Yep. Sorry. No revenge thing here. No getting even. Just walk away. Or you can get yourself composed, and then deal with it rationally.
3. If you're a kid/teenager/whatever and you're at school or some other place where you really can't get help (from, say, your parents...), then you can still do 2), too. If you think you can handle your anger without walking away, good for you. But if you feel yourself about ready to blow, it might be about time for a time out away from that person until you can compose yourself.
I pray to God a lot about my anger, and I know that's what's helped the most. He's made me see when I'm about to blow, and how I can avoid it.
I don't know if you knew, but I'm writing a story about anger right now. It's called Transference and it's about a girl named Anna who has extreme anger problems--in fact, they're... what shall we call it?... even more unusual a normal person's problems. More... unique. I'm not talking about always being mad. (Which... she is.) More like there's a kind of Unusualy twist to it.
I'm hoping to finish that story soon. As soon as I do, I'll post it on here. :)